Linda Lynch

February 2019

I remember not feeling well around our anniversary September 20, 1998. We lived in Thousand Oaks, California at this time. I had been having bladder control issues and for the first time had a bowel accident. I was devastated and embarrassed; I was only 49! I had been having backaches and I started having painful heartburn which was new to me. A prescription was called in and it didn’t help much. I continued to be miserable, not wanting to do much, and that was not like me. I normally never stopped. Eventually I became so ill I didn’t get off the sofa. I was finally convinced to go to the internist in November.

I was so uncomfortable that he didn’t examine me; he sent me for diagnostic tests, including a CT scan. I was subjected to every test you can imagine, and they all came out negative. The internist knew I still had my ovaries and sent me to my gynecologist. I was examined, and he could feel a mass. We were scared to death! I was sent for a transvaginal ultrasound. The results came back negative with a minor amount of ascites. We were all baffled. I could barely walk, I was in pain and felt hopeless, not at all the normal positive person I usually was. I was unable to eat anything other than soup, and now that was burning my insides!

I finally reached my breaking point due to unbearable pain and went to the ER. Six months prior I had had a colonoscopy and everything was good. My internist decided to do another colonoscopy as we had no answers. I remember him telling me when I awoke they needed to do surgery as soon as possible. I needed exploratory surgery to determine why they could not get through my colon. The thought was that part of my colon had died. I asked him if it could be cancer and was told they didn’t think so as all of the tests were negative. I was kept in the hospital on pain medication. In the meantime my husband ran into the gynecologist in the elevator and he came to see me. I asked him to be the assisting surgeon, which was pivotal in my survival. At this time he told me he was ordering a CA125 for ovarian cancer, just in case, even though the results would not be back before surgery. This test has proven to be a valuable tool in my journey. My count was slightly under 1800 and the normal is under 35.

“Back in the day” we had to share a hospital room and I had a miserable roommate. I requested to be moved and I believe my move was divine intervention. I was moved to a room with a lovely lady named Carole who was having a second surgery for ovarian cancer. We talked about her illness, and I recognized many of her symptoms as my own. Her doctor was a gynecologic oncologist, and unbeknownst to me my gynecologist had called him the night before my surgery and asked him if he could come if they needed him for my surgery. As they opened me they realized I had Stage IIIc ovarian cancer. The specialist was called. The general surgeon stepped aside and the two specialists took over for more than six hours. I had a huge and complicated de-bulking surgery. I need to interject at this point that I later found out my surgeon was known as a “rebel” and did very aggressive surgeries. Most other surgeons did not approve of his tactics.

In recovery I became awake enough to realize something wasn’t right. I had had several surgeries and never been on a respirator with my hands tied down! The nurses were constantly working on me. I was worried about what was going on. I was told that I had had a huge surgery and needed some help breathing. I tried to stay awake to hear what was happening. I finally heard that I had ovarian cancer and I was very frightened. We were planning to retire to Bend, Oregon in the near future, and I couldn’t turn my mind off. I knew I had to as I was so tired and in terrible pain. I strongly believe in the power of prayer and I turned to my faith to help me get through this distressing time. I spent four days in ICU, and due to the morphine I had vivid nightmares and tried to stay awake to avoid them. Again I called on my faith to allow me to get the sleep I so desperately needed. My God answered my prayers. I spent a total of two weeks in the hospital. My mantra from first hearing my diagnosis in recovery was, “I will survive!” It wasn’t easy!

I celebrated my 50th birthday in ICU and was supposed to be on a Caribbean Cruise! I later found out my surgeon told my husband he removed every visible cancer in my body. I was put on Carboplatin and Taxol chemotherapy before I was released from the hospital. I had five sessions of the chemotherapy, three weeks apart. I lost my hair and kept telling myself I could die with it or fight for my life without it. I had to have fluid drained several times after surgery and heard that my case was being studied by the hospital board. I also learned that my tumor was in my “cul de sac.” Now I lived on a cul de sac at the time, but I had no idea I had one inside me! Even twenty years ago a CT scan or a transvaginal ultrasound should have shown my tumor. Who knows, maybe it all happened the way it was supposed to happen? Five months after my de-bulking I had a second look laparotomy with multiple biopsies, all clear! I remember feeling, “what do I do now!?” On March 4, 2000 we moved to Bend, Oregon for an early retirement. I was frightened to leave my family, friends, and “medical family” behind. I really didn’t want to go.

To date I have had no recurrences, six surgeries for severe adhesions, chronic bowel adhesions, lower extremity lymphedema; I just keep repeating “I will survive!” I do not intend to sound trite; I know I am one of the lucky ones, especially diagnosed so long ago. I have my daily struggles, but I am alive. I do not take this lightly. I started an ovarian cancer support group in 1999, and developed friendships that will stay with me forever, including Carole. Unfortunately I am the lone survivor. I promised them after feeling survivor guilt that I would carry on the message I visit the various websites for ovarian cancer trying to bring hope. I have given talks, I share my story with most women I come into contact with, and I recently found the new local Teal Sisters in Bend, Oregon. I am new to the Ovarian Cancer Alliance of SW Washington and Oregon and look forward to becoming more active.

During the last twenty years I have been blessed with a supportive family of five children and an extraordinary husband! I have wonderful friends, my faithful Golden Retrievers, my awesome God, and great medical care. My wish in sharing my story is to bring hope and positivity to others. God Bless.