Rachel Li

March 2023

Like many of my teal sisters hearing they had cancer, it was a huge shock to my system. It was a winding road to diagnosis. From my first symptoms of nausea and pain in May of 2021, it took a full 12 months of advocating with doctors to have exploratory surgery in May of 2022. Since I had skin cancer several years prior, I did not necessarily panic when I was referred to oncology for my surgery; however, I was blind to the complexity of an ovarian cancer diagnosis and corresponding treatment plan. I had never heard of ovarian cancer. It was doomy to wake up from surgery and hear that cancer was found in my body, immediately followed by the alarm of being referred for chemotherapy. For an added layer of complexity, I was also now in menopause, which at 42, I had zero understanding of. The tears came so easy in those days between surgery and the start of chemotherapy. Having a six-year-old son intensified the anguish I was feeling. I petitioned in prayer that I had more mothering to do. I was blindsided by this life-threatening cancer. I scrolled the internet for faces of people who had confronted this disease and were victorious. I was desperate for tidbits of hope to keep me going through this extraordinary time.

A gift from cancer was that people, some seemingly out of nowhere, came and showed up for me. People who I didn’t know, felt connected to me and shared their care in the most wonderful way. To say I was touched or moved would be such an understatement. I got to see for the first time this most beautiful aspect of humanity. It was also incredibly painful when some people who I counted on were absent. Some people have no idea what to do or say, and that is fair, but the challenge of undergoing this type of treatment requires so much support. During this time, I got some of the most love from complete strangers. It was a surprise to say the least, as an online connection with an organization called Teal Diva put me on the receiving end of cards from a group of their volunteers. Once I was on that list, the love flooded in. During bleak days I was held in support by people I had never and will probably never meet. I cannot quite put to words what that experience meant to me. These days it is so rare to get a heartfelt card or note from anyone. I will forever cherish this memory and the people who showed the depth of their caring on my hardest days.

I am grateful for the connection to the Ovarian Cancer Alliance of Oregon and SW Washington and my cancer peer mentor. I consider it a great blessing to have sat with these women shoulder to shoulder and hear their amazing stories of strength and to receive their grace.

In addition to the overwhelming support I received, walking, eating well, and swimming kept me going through my treatment.

When my treatment wrapped up, I began to volunteer with the Ovarian Cancer Alliance’s Survivors Teaching Students to help others and influence improvements in medical care. Going through surgery and chemotherapy required me to overcome great fears, it was the hardest thing I have done, and yet it was less than my fear of what it would be.

Cancer has shown me the true value of my life and challenged me to live more fully. Now if something is within my grasp, I don’t wait to make my move. I look for joy and find it hiding in ordinary moments.