Ruth Anne Weisbard

October 2023

The last few months have been very difficult. It has been a shock being diagnosed with a recurrence of ovarian cancer 21 years after the first occurrence.

In 2001, I had a minor pain in my right side. My husband suggested I make an appointment with my primary care doctor after it persisted for a few weeks. Although I had a normal pelvic exam in May and this was November, my doctor felt a grapefruit-sized mass. Everything became a whirl, but within 10 days, I was in surgery. The result came back at stage 1A. I had 6 rounds of chemotherapy since it was an aggressive cell type. My children were teenagers, and this was extremely hard on them as well, especially since their father had died 2 years before.

During the 21 years of follow-up, my CA 125 was always about 2. In 2022, it was 10, but the gynecological oncology department did not think it was significant. They felt it was still in the normal range. In 2023, I had my CA 125 drawn for my routine yearly follow up. Now it was 75. The nurse practitioner did not think it was a recurrence after 20 years but did order a CAT scan. I saw the results online and was in total shock when it indicated an ovarian cancer recurrence. Now there were nodules in the liver. I was devastated and could not believe it. Now it is stage 4.

I have had 2 rounds of chemo so far and had a severe reaction to the Carboplatin on the second round. I didn’t know if I would be able to have that drug again. However, the oncologist told me yesterday that Kaiser was out of Carboplatin because of a shortage. I will switch to Cisplatin for this third one.

After the third dose, I will have a CT scan, and then decisions will be made by the team. The best outcome is if I can have surgery and then additional chemo afterwards. If the chemo has not worked enough, then I may have three more to see if it shrinks the tumors so that surgery can be completed. This waiting makes me very anxious and depressed. I look up survival rates online and try to figure out what I can expect.

My situation is very different from 21 years ago. My children are grown and have their own families, and I am very grateful for that. My husband is in assisted living; so, it is harder to be alone in the house, but I do have the support of friends and family. I am working with a counselor from the cancer counseling department. I have a wonderful dog who is part of my health care team, Lucy my 1 1/2-year-old lab.

At this point my mortality comes into my mind so often. I have 2 young granddaughters and feel sad at the thought of not being able to see them grow up. I tell myself how fortunate I am to have 21 years of remission and have lived a good life to age 70—- but it does not always help. It is hard for me to keep a positive outlook sometimes.